Empty, But Full
Our home of 8 years is emptied, bare, skeletal, and I couldn't be happier. Our mattress rests on the cold floor and the walls are scattered with nicks, sun stains, and chipping paint. Boxes, and bubble wrap, and mailing tape, and the smell of cardboard, and the feeling of letting go.
It's funny how truly content you can be with very little. I think it really comes down to simplicity and gratitude. How lucky we are to have running water everyday, to feel safe and secure in our neighborhood, to eat real, whole food, to have able bodies and curious minds, to have a few people in this universe who may give a damn about you, to have choices every single day that most people aren't granted.
What brings the most meaning to your life? I know for me it's the loving relationships that I fiercely protect and preserve, experiencing this mysterious planet as much as I possibly can, and being creatively immersed and challenged. I think we can easily become caught up, distracted, and confused by what brings actual meaning to our lives. I know I have at times. It's too easy to feel less than, to feel inadequate, not as stylish, not as smart, not as thin, not as rich, not as, not as, not as... It's dangerous to compare our paths and ourselves with others, especially when we live in this visual falsehood that's rampant in our social media-flooded existence. It's more visceral to strive for your personal values and morals, to soldier on a road of meaningful pursuit, and to be good and kind to others, but never put ourselves up against each other. It's our noble obligation to reinforce whatever inspires us and to not succumb to the robotic, mundane, monotonous, clock-ticking routine of life. What makes you feel alive? Go ahead, do it. I dare you.
It sure as hell hasn't been an easy process for us to make this choice of 180-ing our entire lives. But, already, in the most beautiful way, it's forced us to uproot everything that we've known, to celebrate everything that we've become, and to confront everything that we haven't become yet. It's not about being easy though. What real rewards are you granted when it's easy? I wouldn't say much. I would rather have 1,000 challenges thrown my way, than to feel frozen and stagnate, without any testing of my character or my strength. It's a much different time now than when humans fought to survive every day of their lives; hunting for food, fighting off tribes, shielding themselves from the harsh weather, protecting their land and their people... We now live in the post-modernist, plush, cushy, complacent world of endless choices of laundry detergent at your local grocery store. I don't think essential challenges present themselves to us at the same rate as they used to, and because of this, we lead more comfortable, safer, and easier lives, but maybe a bit less purposeful. Don't follow bliss. Bliss is found only in fleeting moments. Bravely pursue meaning, and purpose, and challenge. If you do this, then bliss will present itself along the journey.
I write this from an empty apartment, but I am full.
Cheers,
Tera
